Pains

Hi , assalamualaikum. 

The thought of you scared me. 

It makes every single bone in my body quiver with fear. But maybe-it isn’t you , it’s the thought of seeing you again. 

The dread of possibly falling in love with your big round dark brown eyes or the way your dimple slowly formed when you were smiling. 

Maybe it’s the way you speak, the way your lips slowly uttered each and every words or the mess you will made when you were eating or the way your eyes sparkled when you talk about something you love. 

Maybe it’s the way you get shy when I took your pictures candidly and recorded you with my phone. Maybe it’s the way you smiled when we look into each other eyes while talking.

Your presence makes me weak and that’s why I’m afraid of you. 

I despair the thought that I might fall for you once again because the first time nearly killed me and my pathetically-patched heart.

You made me felt special, you took me on a date (practically I’m the one who kidnapped you), you made me laughed and smiled but it ended up to nothing. 

We made so many memories that remained at the deepest corner of my brain.

No matter what I do, the pains just won’t stop. 

It hurts so much to think that we ended up this way. 

What happen to the “I’ll never leave you?, “I love you”?, “I won’t give up on you”?, “I’m yours”?, and many more. 

Our love was like a decayed tooth. 

It’s so broken it needed to be pulled off but it hurts so much to actually pull it. 

I used the anesthesia, but it seems like it just won’t work. 

Then when the tooth is now gone, 

I ran it across with my tongue again and again, wandering when it will grow back.

The pains will never get healed, it just I’ll get used of it. - the girl that you leave behind-