Pains

Hi , assalamualaikum. 

The thought of you scared me. 

It makes every single bone in my body quiver with fear. But maybe-it isn’t you , it’s the thought of seeing you again. 

The dread of possibly falling in love with your big round dark brown eyes or the way your dimple slowly formed when you were smiling. 

Maybe it’s the way you speak, the way your lips slowly uttered each and every words or the mess you will made when you were eating or the way your eyes sparkled when you talk about something you love. 

Maybe it’s the way you get shy when I took your pictures candidly and recorded you with my phone. Maybe it’s the way you smiled when we look into each other eyes while talking.

Your presence makes me weak and that’s why I’m afraid of you. 

I despair the thought that I might fall for you once again because the first time nearly killed me and my pathetically-patched heart.

You made me felt special, you took me on a date (practically I’m the one who kidnapped you), you made me laughed and smiled but it ended up to nothing. 

We made so many memories that remained at the deepest corner of my brain.

No matter what I do, the pains just won’t stop. 

It hurts so much to think that we ended up this way. 

What happen to the “I’ll never leave you?, “I love you”?, “I won’t give up on you”?, “I’m yours”?, and many more. 

Our love was like a decayed tooth. 

It’s so broken it needed to be pulled off but it hurts so much to actually pull it. 

I used the anesthesia, but it seems like it just won’t work. 

Then when the tooth is now gone, 

I ran it across with my tongue again and again, wandering when it will grow back.

The pains will never get healed, it just I’ll get used of it. - the girl that you leave behind-

Rebel

Assalamualaikum and hi.

Rebel? Maybelline rebel ke apa ni? Haa bukan lipstick maybelline tu although aku dah beli lipstick tu dan sangat berpuas hati dengan performance dia. Smooth camtu yay. Bibir pun tak kering and warna dia (omygod) kalau boleh nak semua tapi paham paham lah kekangan kewangan ye.  Eh kejap, taknak cakap pasal lipstick.

Okay, back to the previous topic, rebel. In malay, memberontak or pemberontak. As we know, remaja, people like us, tend to rebel easily. Kan? Haa jangan nak geleng hangguk je apa aku cakap. Yelah, aku pun selalu gak bangkang apa semua benda lah nak bangkang kan. Salah sikit je nak rebel, kena larang sikit terus rebel.

So, something happened recently, cerita pendek dia aku nak pergi shah alam , rumah Ruqayyah, so aku dah minta kebenaran dari awal cuti dengan abah. Abah macam bagi so aku dah siap pack barang dan minta tolong abah hantar ke kuantan je sebab family qayyah nak datang kuantan and ambil aku dekat kuantan. So, abah cancel last minute sebab abah banyak benda nak buat haritu.

Boleh bayangkan apa jadi, haaa bayangkan. Sehari aku tidur bangun pun solat je and makan bila takdak orang kat dapur. Masa tu pikir kenapa aku balik rumah kan, apa lah semua sampai pikir nak lari rumah semua ada. Jangan memain, aku overreact selalu. Abah cakap dengan aku pun aku senyap je tak cakap apa dah.

Tapi, marah aku marah sekejap je, tak lama. Cepat marah, cepat sejuk. Abah sendiri kot, siapa tak sayang. Pendek cerita, lepas sehari tu aku tak bukak mulut dalam rumah, esoknya aku bukak lah mulut. Tak marah dah. Sekejap kan aku marah? Alahai. So masa nak solat, aku gurau dengan adik aku and then abah cakap, " Jangan bising sangat nanti ayong takde sunyi sangat rumah". Jap nak ambik tisu jap. Sedih wei.

Main point dia kat sini, kalau parents korang larang or sesiapa lah larang korang daripada buat something, ada lah tu hikmah dia. Hikmah dia sekarang maybe save duit aku tak pergi rumah qayyah, kot. Hahaha. Nak rebel tu boleh, tapi jangan sampai melukakan hati yang tersayang ye. Rebel macam aku takpe, sekejap je. And lagi satu, jangan bertekak mulut dengan parents (aku kekadang buat tapi menyesal lah lepas tu) , mostly aku diam je kalau kena marah dengan parents.

Ingat ni, marah sebab sayang, kalau tak sayang, tak marah, tak ambil tahu pun. Kan? -END-

Pengalaman?

Assalamualaikum and hi,

harini nak cerita pengalaman tak boleh lupa lah sampai bila bila rasanya. Cerita dia macam ni, aku kan dah sambung study kat Terengganu, so haritu plan nak balik pahang naik bas ( HIGHLIGHT : FIRST TIME NAIK BAS) . So, mama dengan abah tak pernah ajar naik bas and now aku nak naik bas sorang-sorang balik Pahang. Okay highlight kat sini, sorang-sorang. Kenapa sorang sorang? Sebabnya bukan cuti sem ke apa, just nak balik sebab bulan puasa. Nak jugak merasa berbuka kat rumah kan.

So, aku pun suruh kawan aku belikan tiket ke Pahang sebab dia pergi MBKT (Majlis Bandar eh ke Bandaraya Kuala Terengganu) dan aku tak check pun tiket nampak 5:30 petang haa jadilah. Okay pada hari yang berkenaan yaitu Rabu, 1 Julai 2015, aku pun mintak tolong kawan aku, Hajar (kenal kat Terengganu ni)  tolong hantarkan pergi bus station , so Hajar hantar dalam pukul lima camtuh. So, aku duduk lah situ, tunggu bas, alone with bag (satu je bag) , tergerak hati nak baca tiket . So, tiket tu berbunyi camni : 3 Julai 2015, 5:30 petang. Eh kejap, TIGA?

Haaa kan. Pendek cerita, aku rushed pergi kaunter beli yang baru. So maknanya , salah tarikh semasa beli tiket. Salah siapa? Wallahu’alam. Aku pun sambung lah termenung dekat terminal tu, tunggu bas. And then, ada seorang makcik ni approached aku, duk sebelah. And she asked me to read her ticket, takut salah. Dia nak pergi kemaman. Bas depan kitaorang masa tu. She seem nice so aku borak ngan dia. Lepas tu, ada seorang akak tu datang borak pulak. Sambil tunggu bas ni. Lepas akak tu blah, I hold my wallet and suddenly, a man came and seat beside me, and he said that he needed some money to buy tickets for himself, his wife and their child because he lost his wallet

.

Boleh bayang tak perasaan macam mana? I’m scared as hell. So, I gave him rm50 because he asked for rm20 ( tak silap) and aku takde duit kecik langsung sebab dah beli tiket semula tadi kan. Fyi, tiket ke Kuantan, Pahang rm 19.90. So, setakat ni duit dah habis sebab beli tiket sahaja dah rm40++ . So, he went to the ticket counter and I thought he will be gone with the 50 ringgit that I just gave him but he came back and said he just need RM 25 and returned the balance and thanks me for what I’ve done. At that time, aku just nak dia blah, sebab aku takut oi.

After that, sambung tunggu bas, before that, aku punya bas nama dia Mutiara, and aku nampak dah bas mutiara kat situ, warna purple. Jadi, aku expect bas yang akan aku naik warna purple lah. And then, there’s a bus came and tulisan dekat bas tu tulisan jawi so aku tak amik port lah sebab lain dengan bas mutiara yang aku nampak sebelum tu. So, aku buat tatau jelah.  Around 5:30 ptg tu bas tu gerak, aku baca lah tulisan atas dia, MUTIARA in jawi, kat depan tulis kuantan. OMG, boleh bayang tak macam mana perasaan masa tu, BAS DAH GERAK.

Suspen tak? Hahaha. Okay so aku berdiri tengok bas tu macam orang tak pernah tengok bas. Lucky me, driver bas tu nampak and dia stop. Dia tanya nak pergi kuantan ke , kalau nak , naik. Huh, nasib baik. Aku pun amik barang and terus naik bas. Seat atas, takde orang. Bila dah duduk seat je, abah call. Macam tau tau je. Aku cakap kata bah dah naik and then bila abah off call laju je air mata ni turun. Imagine kau tak pernah naik bas and then first time naik bas kau kena sorang2 and then macam macam berlaku, dugaan. Sambil nangis tu sambil whatsapp abah, abah cakap, pengalaman ayong, pengalaman. Yeah, pengalaman right? T_T

So, memang petang tu tak makan tak apa lah, takdak selera langsung. Makan pun sebab berbuka je, makan roti sikit, air masak. Around 10 malam tuh safely arrived kat kuantan. Touchdown. Abah pun dah ada kat situ, rindu gila kat abah sebab sebelum pergi unija abah takde, abah pergi umrah. Abah balik pun aku takde kat rumah. Nampak je muka abah, hilang semua, lega dah. Alhamdulillah. -END-

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